Enjoy! :)
Random Thoughts of the Day:
- I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
- I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
- Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
- That's enough, Nickelback.
- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
- The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
- Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
- There is a great need for sarcasm font.
- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*ck was going on when I first saw it.
- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
- The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
- My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
- There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
- I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
- While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
- When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
- Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
- My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
- It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
- The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
I have some catching up to do for both of these shows. Luckily, I can do that as soon as last year's seasons come out on DVD. Thank yoouuuu, Netflix! Blake and I are both huge fans of Entourage, and successfully rented all previous seasons through Netflix to get caught up. True Blood, on the other hand, might be a one-sided interest. I think Blake might try to watch it with me, but will more than likely end up hating it. 
We had our ceremony & reception in Austin, Texas on August 8, 2009. It was HOT, but a lot of fun. Most of our good friends and family were there to celebrate with us and show their support, and it was amazing! All the planning and leading up to the wedding flew by, and so did the night - I didn't want it to be over! The following week, we headed back to Irving for a few days. I turned the big 2-5, and that evening we headed on down to College Station for Blake's graduation the next day. Family reunited once again, this time obviously in a much smaller dose, and watched on as Blake crossed the stage! It was another happy day; we were both glad to be finished with school and were looking forward to whatever else came next. 
For us, what came next (the following week) was our honeymoon! After much debate and changing our minds about 20 times about where we wanted to go, we decided on ARUBA, and we're glad we did! Although we arrived a day late because we were sleepy-heads and missed our flight on the first day, we had a great time the first night hanging out in downtown Charlotte, NC, and made sure to get our butts to the airport at least 3 hours early to get those seats! (We were, after all, on standby). Once we landed in Aruba though, relaxation began. The beaches were beautiful, our hotel was wonderful - nice, quiet, and romantic - and there was just the right amount of activity on the island to keep us entertained when we didn't feel like being lazy beach bums. We had fun parasailing, riding jet skis, walking around the town, enjoying wonderful meals and drinks, and just lounging around enjoying the beautiful views & sunsets.
After we got back from the honeymoon, I went straight back to work and Blake started his ruthless pursuit of employment. He was able to find work here and there, working on some designs, but the plain and simple fact remained that no matter how good the contacts, nobody seemed to be hiring. As he'll say, it was almost a joke to people he met and talked with, about how bad things were and how nobody was looking to hire. Booo!
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January meant the beginning of yet another year, except this year will be the first full year of being married! Woohoo! It's exciting to start a new year knowing that it will be different than any other year of your life :) Number of resolutions: ZERO. Why bother? We have things in mind that we'd like to focus on throughout the year, individually and together, and it will just be up to us to stay on top of it...but hit the gym on January 1st despite being hungover to get a good start on losing weight? Nope. Not for us! January did, however, bring the new year's first big blessing - a job for Blake! We were so excited for Blake to go in and interview with Southern Botanical, a company he knew of to be a great one to work for, and much more excited to find out they wanted to hire him! It was just what he was hoping for, and it has been working out very well for him so far.
February brought a couple more blessings to two of our wonderful friends, with Eric Bitner and Calli Boyer's wedding and the birth of my wonderful friend Sarah's baby boy, Rylan! Also, we recently found out that Calli & Eric are now expecting a baby too! 
